Sometimes I Wish Life Gave the Option for a "Fade In/Out" Transition

I haven't posted since Christmas, and I don't even know if anyone really read this while I was posting during last semester. But I'm posting again now, just as a recap of what's been happening since then, just in case people do read this and wonder if I'm still alive or if the tumbleweeds have gotten the best of me.

My first semester back in Abilene has been so hard. Of course there have been easy things, like doing the schoolwork and seeing Oxford friends, but hanging out with my old friends has been a strange, difficult, and stretching experience. I don't feel like we click anymore, and even though I love them to death, I feel so uncomfortable around them sometimes. It's gotten easier as the semester's worn on, since we've been building back up our relationships, but it's completely different than last year. I knew it wasn't going to be the same, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I'm trying to decide if I'm supposed to try to rekindle the good friendships I had or just leave them be, although it's a little more comlicated than that.

God has been testing me to see if I really desire Him the most. Out of anything. I want to honestly be able to say, like David, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25). He has been showing me how high and wide and deep and long His love is, and I am learning to accept it. It's kind of hard, though, when I'm wanting my old friends back so much.

So, along with all this emotional stuff, my semester has also been awesome. I changed my major to Social Work and I am so glad God led me to it. I'm loving my classes and my professors and I'm really excited for next semester already. I've also started helping out with the 1st through 6th graders at my church here, Beltway Park. I go on Wednesday nights for "Wednesday Warriors" and pretty much just help out with games and small group activities. I love it and have been reminded how much I love kids. I always come home encouraged and feeling like I've seen a side of God I hadn't seen in quite some time.

Probably the most exciting thing about this semester is something that hasn't even happened yet. I am going to be interning with Dry Bones this summer in Denver, Colorado. I went on a Spring Break campaign with them last year and loved it, which is pretty much why I applied. Simply put, I will be hanging out with the homeless youth in downtown Denver and also church youth groups that come to hang out with them as well. I am incredibly excited, but am trying to stay in the present.

Alright, well I don't know if I'm going to keep posting here. I suppose I should, since this post was rather dreary. I really only wanted this blog to talk about my semester abroad, so I might make a new one for everyday things. Perhaps. I'll let you know if I do.